I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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