Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
