dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
