I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
