Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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