So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
