I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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