Life is so much better after having sex.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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