On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
