this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
