I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
