its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
