That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
