we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
