so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
well you can't waste a boner
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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