I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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