State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize