haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize