So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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