So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
