just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
