Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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