Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
