Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize