There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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