I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
