SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
