you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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