So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
