Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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