you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
