I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
