Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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