You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
