I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize