At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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