come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize