remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
