So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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