Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize