how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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