I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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