I want to make a zoo with you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
