Apparently you make a good broom.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
