Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
