it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
