Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
