this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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