She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The ass gains better be worth it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize