If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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