eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
