Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When did angry sex become our thing?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
