There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
