They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
