Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Blow job season was short but glorious.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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