I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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