I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
