It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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