Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
