I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Green mimosas i think yes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
