Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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